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Keep Calm and Think Integration

AN EYE FOR AN EYE WILL ONLY MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD BLIND

 
All your impulses-Internal conflict

Conflict is healty only if you know how to handle it.When we come up with a word of conflict following words may come up to the mind as ''swear,revile, calling bad names,punching others or even fight''. It is just kind of a competition or it is just an anger of being obstruct from outside sometimes. Starters of conflict are criticism, solicitation, inversion or accumulated anger usually. 
Internal conflicts- Me, myself and I. Me, my pleasure and the overseer of my pleasure. The moments which you only follow your ideas, your wants.




Interpersonal conflicts- It could be the conflict between you and your partner.What your partner wants and how he/she acts when she wants it. Does she always talk about your life goals and make your life how she wants without giving a damn your dreams?                                                                                                
Conflicts between individual and group- When your family or your classmates are against you. It could be any kind of group of people in everyday life.
Intergroup conflicts- Football supporters,politic group conflicts etc.

Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding conflict -alternatives to passive aggressive responses, alternatives to violence. 

We would have conflicts if we feel enough aplomb and we can punch anybody with our words or we would run away from punches as nothing happened there before.Anyways, having a conflict always makes people understand the others perceptions better if you don't follow to hurt otherside. Healthy relationships can not be independent from conflict.
Conflict allows the team to come to terms with difficult situations to synhesize diverse perspectives and to make sure solutions are well thought-out.

''New definition of nice''

Sure, pulling your pucnhes might help you maintain your self image as a nice person, but you do so at the cost of getting your alternative perspective on the table, at the cost of challenging faulty assumptions, and at the cost of highlighting risk. To overcome these problems, we need to have a new definition of nice. In this version of nice, you find your differences of opinion, you talk about the uncomfortable issues, you find all your defense mechanisms that you had until today and perhaps you can change them. 

''In the animal kingdom the rule is, eat or be eaten; in the human kingdom define or be defined.''

When you feel like your conversation with other is going down and being red as your feelings... You could try to set a problem defining sentences. Which one looks more passionately? ''I'm angry! So shut up now!'' or ''I feel angry after your last sentence.I feel like you're judging me with that word.'' 

''Knowing when to fight is just as important as knowing how''.


Think that maybe your words does not reflect your reality in a goodway. Try to do not blame the otherside quickly. So, with this trick, first, you will be calm and you will talk descriptive, secondly, you will see that you won't find a defense mechanism made by iron if you do not blame others passionately and directly.Realise the underlying problems and try to find hypothetical solutions and do not step back after you suggest a solution. Ask for other possibilities  to the others. Be heartiness, show that you want to find a mid way. Try to do not judge and try to make the other person feel free to show his/her unaffectedness, let the person feel free to talk spontaneously. When you find a judgement which makes you feel bad, define the sentence which the other person setted up and explain calmy why do you feel sad or bad about that. Use emphaty. Try to feel and think like the other person. Be equal and see both sides of the conflict.. If you can not find a solution, suggest to postpone the conversation.'' I think we can try to solve this problem any better time,just postpone it for now. Both of us may not be thinking true at the moment, what do you think? '' 
If you find yourself shying away from a conflict, use one of these techniques to make it easier.

Even still, we run. We haven't reached our average of many years without knowing that you run through it, and it hurts and you run through it some more, and it still hurts worse, you run through it even more and when you finish, you will be broken through... In the end when you are done, and streching and your heartbeat slows, and your sweat dries, if you've run through the hard part, you will remember no pain. Don't try to deal with unequal feelings and behaviors, they always expose a storm in your life. Find the new definition of nice in your life and take an action with it, you will see how your life will change in a definition of nice. 


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